Another late night

Tonight was another late night because I was doing my listening, due in tomorrow. I really do wonder if I will remember my Japanese folder tomorrow morning.

I was planning to wear a skirt tomorrow. Will I do it?? It IS freezing but that is meant to be a winter skirt....so.....fingers crossed.

I have been thinking really weird things lately. I have been persuading myself again that I have hope yet for another guy. I honestly don't know why I do it. I keep telling myself that is not true but somehow I still think otherwise.

My English grammar is getting better, but my japanese or Chinese aren't. The grammar ability of mine are like a weighing scale. It really depends on the language mode I'm in. I do know that it sounds really funny but I am definitely not kidding. I can gurantee that after the year in japan both my chinese and English will sound ridiculous. Even though it isn't exactly grammar perfect now.

Every time I close my eyes I see my ex-lab partner which is really frustrating. I think of my arabic crush's name but I see my ex-lab partner. Which is very confusing. On one sense I am getting over my arabic crush, the other.....I am going to get into another big mess. If I ended up liking my ex-lab partner as much as my arabic crush I am so going to fall into pieces. He isn't the type of guy (was going to say men but but he is more like a boy) that I would trust to be support me mentally. My Arabic crush was, so much so that the coincidences which never happened made me decide to let go. I had been trying for so long too. My ex-lab partner.....I don't know what it is but he sometimes show a mature side. Sometimes he say gentle words which are heart-warming and relaxing. Just last Thursday when I found out that my experiments (well, our experiment) gave an extremely weird result and whatever I do, including checking the values and my maths, I started to get angry at myself. All he said to my uneasy self was don't worry and as if it was a miracle my hands stopped shaking. Anyone would say that, maybe not literally anyone, but somehow I felt at ease. His voice was very soft then. His usual cheeky smile and annoying comments were gone. It is really strange. I wish that he won't do that anymore before I finally convinced myself that he does care about me. I would go insane if that happened.

I have been listening to Take That's Beautiful World album and at this moment it is on Patience. There are so many good songs on there. By the way, I am kind of hijacking my brother's files (haha). I am really liking them.

Anyway it is actually 1:30am so I really should get to bed.....my first lecture starts at 10am.

Good night from this moment.