.........

My head feels like it is going to explode. I don't know why or what I did to it but it just feel that way. I probably have those new psychological illness that is something to do with the high alertness to high frequencies existent in almost every electrical appliances. But then again I wish I hadn't as I need to use all those things.

I am going back to Uni tomorrow. The timetable has not yet published and I don't know when is the best time to go back. I don't want to get stuck in the rush hour though like I always did last year.

I think I should just give up talking to morrocan people; their internet French is impossible to assume and understand, yet there are so many of them wanting to talk to me. It had been a very long time since I last had a lesson in it. They all want to use webcam though, which I actually hate doing with strangers.

Well I had been set an impossible task. To tidy my bedroom and cook dinner, do the washing, etc. It had all been left to me since I came back. My brother is so lazy.

I just dropped my French dictionary for the second time. I had been using it for my conversations.....which was useless as they were not proper French.

Someday, hopefully before I start working full-time, I will have had the chance to improve the GCSE French I still have left and have been able to at least read the German Scientific journals (you won't believe how significant that is) and had done a little latin to help with future research. This is a complicated task as I am still building up my Japanese. I think I am taking on board too many stuff but it is an aid. I don't intend on being fluent but at least I can read the text let alone pronounce it.

I had been really lazy over the past few days, study-wise. I hadn't done any revision for my subject or read the New Scientists that I ordered. All I wanted to do was just to sleep, sit around and do nothing. Maybe it was the opposite effect of what I had to do with the build-up of mess around the house. My brother is complaining that I am not doing any washing up even though I am doing to cooking, which he always complained about. He is thinking of adding another simpler dish in protest of what I am going to do.

He just complained to mum about what I said about the state of the house. He assumed that I will do everything as I would if I was married to him. For crying out loud he is only my brother and I am not obliged to clean his stuff, especially when it is all on my part of the room.

Enough complaining I think I should honestly tidy things up a bit so that I can use my desk when I finally start uni.

home

Well what can I say when my brother had been left house-keeping for a month......by himself. It was a total mess of course, with clothes here and there and dishes left in the sink, then there is the read mail on the table and.....well I think you got the idea. Mum is still away with things to sort out so the cleaning up is left to me!!!!!! (Why o Why!?!) It made me want to hide under a pillow and never look at it again. But, the problem is most of the mess is in my part of the house. My bedroom and desk are filled with his books and notes (he never do filing). All in all I have a big task ahead of me.

last full day

This is my last full day in hk before I move back to uk for the new academic year. I have been asked to go many places but I don't want to!!!!! My mum said that it was pre-departure depression and I don't deny it.

I had a chat with a friend recently. He had a very strong view on an issue which had deeply affected his family. I am not saying that he is wrong in keeping that view but if he had learnt to let go and deal with it then life isn't so bad. I can say it proudly as I have been through that. Well I don't say it but I have been through the same thing. It took me many years to start taking things more lightly. Sometimes when you see keep something to yourself for too long it damages your relationship, your physique and more importantly your mental balance. It can literally drive a person mad. There had been so many people driven into mental institutes for just this reason. What is more important is that the past had gone there is still the future. This part may be hard and bad it just mean that future will be comparably better.

Well his problem wasn't this part. It was more about society inflicted negativity. There is no escaping. The only solution is to live with it and try to make it affect you in the least possible way. I know that this is an issue affecting many of us and I don't say that I am immune to it. It is just that to have taken years to learn to deal with it rather than just complaining. Once you have reached this point you will be able to live happily. We are a social species and so social issues will follow us for eternity. Why don't we just pronounce the more positive and try to deal with the negative and move on. There will always be a better future that way.

suggestions

What am I to do? I really don't know. I have been troubled lately with the philosophy about suggestions. There can be so many strange things behind this idea. However, I had been so forgetful lately. hahahahaha I had already forgotten about all about it.

yo

Give me some excitement pleeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! I am soooooooo bored..........!
Well not really I don't think??? I should be quite busy with the things I planned but somehow I don't want to do that. I don't really want to do anything anytime anyway so....what?

Aaaaaaargh I am not making any sense (see the recurring theme......any?). What should I do....? I should probably just do something.

This morning

I did something awful this morning. I had an argument this morning. I promised my mum that I will give the whole day today and Friday to help her out. I never said that I wouldn't it was more to do with the fact that she never let me sleep any other day anyway. I was only grumpy and mad at that. The worst part of it was talking back. I am 19 for heaven's sake. I was only asking for a extra 2 hours sleep and my mum's perspective was it is only two more hours. Does she know that I hadn't been able to sleep outside home for the past three years? Especially when I had responsibilities there. Or when I am very tired I might just be able to. An even bigger problem was when I go with her I usually stay awake so I will be ready when things were needed to be done. I can never sleep when people around me needed help. Even if they don't require it from me. Okay, so it may be an excuse from me. But having one like this is better than none. Nothing is going to take back what I done anyway.

So, to apologise, I will go as I had promised. If I had the gut not to be stubborn then I might say sorry. I don't expect to be forgiven though.

I best get going or it will just get more complicated.

hi again....on the same day

I think I am getting to like this blog more. But time will tell as which of those I will update more. (Why on Earth do I even bother when I should be spending more time on much better things!!) But anyway I am stupid. I will try and make an effort on this. HAHAHA

Hi

I honestly don't know what came up to me......Not another blog from a boring person. Maybe I am only boring because I don't go out much hence yet another blog from me. So to prove that I am really bored here is the URL for my other two:

http://www.freewebs.com/fiddlycat/
http://fiddlycatwithfiddles.spaces.live.com/

the latter one is not available to the public though, wahahahaha...^u^ Anyway, I guess this can be more free as I don't know who will look so......don't expect fun things.......yet.